My Love Below

my journey through motherhood and other complex matters

Cramping My Style

James and I decided in December that we wanted to get pregnant in 2010, so we began trying in so many words. January came . . . no baby, but at the point I don’t think we were that serious about getting pregnant. February came . . . no baby. The sentiments were still the same. Then comes March. I was like March is the month and anyone who knows me knows that when I want something I’m willing to work hard for it, even to the dismay or negativity of everyone else around me. So, I planned essentially. I mean I PLANNED. I got the fertility kit, entered the first day of my last period in the on-line ovulation calendar and said a prayer. I determined the best chances of getting pregnant was the week of March 15th, so I threw out all the punches to my husband’s satisfaction. I thought . . . hit everyday, because getting pregnant, at my age, according to the doctor’s was a gamble anyway, so I literally had to put all the eggs in one basket. At least, that’s what I thought.

A couple of weeks later I started experiencing these cramps and thought it was due in part to my ab workouts. Plus, my period would start in a couple of weeks and I assumed that these were just signs of PMS, although I never received cramps this early in the game. The few days before my period was due to start I met some friends for Happy Hour and afterward I was complaining about these severe cramps. Only one of my friends, Nikki, blurted out that I was pregnant. I shot that theory down quickly and moved along, rubbing my stomach, hoping somehow that these cramps would subside. They did, but only until the next day. The cramps got more and more troublesome, waking me from sleep, etc. I was like I can’t wait for my period to start . . . two days went by . . . no period. Humph.
I thought we were planning so maybe we are pregnant. I thought back to a week before when I took the pregnancy test just to see if I was pregnant (one of those “early detection” tests), just in case and the test came back negative, so I thought, humph. But today, no period . . . cramping . . .tender breasts . . . maybe I should take another test.

Monday, April 5th I took the pregnancy test. You know one of those tests that has the two lines. Well, it supposedly takes two minutes to determine the results. It was almost as if the stick couldn’t wait for me to pee on it. As soon as the urine hit the stick two lines popped up. I was still thinking, now the very first stick I peed on last week said I was not pregnant. I used the second stick in this package and now, I’m pregnant? Nevertheless, I called my mom with the news, after I shed a couple of tears. We were both so excited. As I hung up the phone, a light bulb went off in my head . . . This box of pregger sticks is defective, I convinced myself. I’m going to Walgreens and I’m going to pick up the EPT digital test. It will let me know EXACTLY if I’m pregnant, without the confusion of two lines, one faded, one not.

Half an out later . . .

Okay, so I drank a couple of bottles of water and waited to get that sensation. I opened the box, unleashed the test from the grips of the plastic wrapping, slid on the seat and did my duty. Two minutes later . . . P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T.

Then the cramps began.


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