My Love Below

my journey through motherhood and other complex matters

BayBay . . . You Look Good

And, that’s how I really feel. I don’t think I’ve looked any better to tell you the truth. I’m 19 weeks and six days, I’m healthy and I’m happy and from the outside that makes me beautiful. One question, though . . . when guys make passes at me, like they’ve been doing quite a bit lately, do they not realize that I’m carrying a beach ball under my midsection? Do they not notice my little love below protruding from the voluptuousness that has now become my cleavage . . . and my best friend? Do they not realize their hitting on a pregnant lady? Alas, I don’t think they really care and boy have their compliments been the best ego booster ever. It just seems strange that’s all. But maybe it isn’t. I have heard husbands tell their wives, including mine, how beautiful they are when they are pregnant and how more attracted they are to us, demonstrated in both in words and actions. My hair, my nails, my skin . . . just look at me.

Me at 19 weeks. Aren't I cute?

I’m an attractive little thing. LOL. I’ve gained about 14 pounds already. I’m not trying to gain 30, but if I do, I don’t think I’m gonna be mad. Nope, not at all. I’ll continue to take my 30-45 minute walks 3-4 days a week, eat healthy and see where it takes me. I can’t keep on counting calories and I can’t stand on that scale everyday to monitor my weight. I don’t think it’s healthy.

Next weekend, I’m attending a wedding and I’ve outgrown two dresses I thought would be major contenders for the event. Yup, even with my husband’s help zipping them up, they were just too snug. So, I did what I’ve been dreading . . . I went dress shopping. It wasn’t that bad, because I wasn’t really shopping maternity. I was looking for an empire dress, that didn’t cost me a fortune, that I could stick my “thick” self into. I headed straight to Dillard’s, went up the escalator and darted straight to the back where they sold the formals . . . for ladies. I found two candidates, both long, both flowy, both empire . . . both size 8. I knew I wasn’t gonna fit into my usual size 6, so to keep myself from being scared of the size jump, I started slow and shimmied my way to the 8 . . . and picked up a 10, “just in case.” To my pleasure the 8 fit perfectly and I had no bumps or bulges in the back and most importantly, I felt comfortable and my pocket book didn’t suffer at the loss.

In Closing
Finally, 20 weeks, my halfway point, has come . . . you are probably wondering what I have learned and these blog posts do give you some insight into my joys, but I’ve also had some concerns. I had a wonderful upbringing. In my mind I had the best parents, although sometimes we did have our disagreements. My parents were very open with me growing up and tried to answer questions to the best of their ability. My father would always tell me that he would never lie to me . . . if he had to, he just wouldn’t tell me. One thing that I hold very dear to my heart is that I had both of my parents in the home. No, they didn’t always agree with each other’s rearing tactics and at times they showed it, but even that, I appreciate. It showed me that they weren’t perfect and solidified that we all make mistakes. They were honest and they were consistent and they supported me, no matter what. I also had people that helped my parents raise me who were a consistent part of my life, who taught me how to read and write and speak correct English. I am almost certain that James’ upbringing was similar. As I achieve my maternity halfway mark, I am reminded that I want the same for Miles. He’ll have the two parents who will consistently be by his side, no matter what, cause we don’t believe in disinheriting for any reason. And, we hope and pray that there will be other consistent people in his life who will help us raise him. I’m a strong believer that is does take a village, be it his teacher, nanny (Lord give me the provisions for one), God-parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles or even our neighbors. We want the best and we’ll work our hardest to give him the best. In my mind . . . he is the PRIORITY.

Who does he look like?


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