My Love Below

my journey through motherhood and other complex matters

Miles Away From Home

This weekend, I was fortunate enough to attend the wedding of a friend from college. I met up with another friend that I have known for over 25 years. He’s now married with a beautiful son. As I flash back through my life, I am so blessed to have been given long-lasting friendships with people who I truly admire. I hope that my Miles has the same fortune. Let’s be honest as you progress through life friends will come and go, but it’s nice to have a core group of friends that understand you. Those that know your ins and outs, things that make you tick, things that make you laugh and accept you for who you are. I in turn hope he extends the same respect that his friends extend to him. My dad always told me that it is good to have friends and sometimes those friends end up meaning more to you than your own family. I think in some cases this is true. I have no sisters, but my friends, some of them, are just like sisters to me and like the groom put it his groomsmen have become his brothers.

My friend, Michael, who I met when I was about 2 or 3 talked to me about being a parent. He spoke so highly of his wife and told me that there are things that he learned about his wife and admired about her after they had their son Malachi. Parenting often brings out additional qualities, I’m sure. He also mentioned that at times nothing can replace a mother’s love. He was putting his son to bed one night and his son, Malachi, kept asking for his mother. His story was heartfelt, but I, in my own personal life, know that the sentiment is true. I hope to have the same bond with Miles that I have with my own mother. I hope that he’ll be able to lean on me and be open with me. I have a lot of hopes and dreams for this little munchkin . . . we both do and I have accepted that at times we WILL make mistakes.

I am 21 weeks now and Miles’ movements are becoming more profound. I’m noticing his patterns a bit more as well. Sometimes I believe he can sense that he’s in a new place. During the rehearsal dinner in Dallas, you could swear that he was just as excited to be in attendance as everyone else. Boy, can this baby move. I also thought I had a Braxton Hicks contraction on Saturday afternoon, just before the wedding, but I believe it could have been the result of Miles’ movement, a trigger of BH contractions.

I’m counting down the weeks and trying to get everything together. Baby furniture, check, baby mural, check, baby clothes, check, baby 529, in progress (but checked once he has a social security number), baby childcare, ugh, yet to be determined (but with God all things are possible, so we’re doing our part and BELIEVE God will do the rest). Worst case scenario . . . I stay home. “Oh, you don’t want to do that.” Uh, I also don’t want to send my child to DAYCARE too early. So, we got to do, what we got to do. I’m also convinced people will never care about your child or care for your child the way that you do. This too concerns me. I worked in a daycare once. I know how it works. So, needless to say, the vote is still out.

Miles is the length of a banana. Yup! My little Chiquita is guzzling down several ounces of amniotic fluid a day for hydration and nutrition. He’s tasting everything that I’m tasting, so this is the part where I become more mindful of what I am inhaling.


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