My Love Below

my journey through motherhood and other complex matters

Baby Hit Me One More Time

Oh, baby, baby . . . this active little baby in my somewhat pliable belly is almost ready to enter the world. I have five, count them, five more weeks and I’ll get to meet my man face-to-face. I’m excited and uh, SCARED all at the same time. I’ve never felt such a desire to protect and nurture anything in my entire life and I can honestly say that I am not the “nurturing” type. I’m not the “comforting” type. I would almost say I’m not the “mothering” type. Oh, but my inhibitions have brought me to a whole other realm and I’m quite happy to be here. I have been pregnant for almost one full year, 40 out of 52 weeks. As Baby T’s birthday draws near, I’m wondering about those first few seconds, minutes and hours. He has so much personality in my womb. What will he be like when I see him in the flesh?

Supportive friends say that James and I will be great parents and that Miles is a lucky (blessed) little boy. I often wonder what type of parents we will be. I know education will be of the utmost importance and we’ll train up little Miles in the things of the Lord (like our mama’s raised us), but everyone knows that there will be a time in Miles’ life where he will think he knows waaaaaaaay more than we do. He’ll test our abilities and try our patience. He’ll force us to consider and reconsider our decisions. We’ll love him unconditionally and practice tough love. It already hurts me to say that, but I know it’s almost certain to come to pass. Maybe I’m taking this way to seriously, but shouldn’t I? Some might say, child you are thinking to hard, but should I be? I mean giving birth is a blessing. Raising a child is a gift . . . and a HUGE responsibility. Saying that you are responsibility for a human’s well-being should never be taken lightly. We’ll relish the good and make note of the great that he’ll achieve. AND I’m sure we’ll make some mistakes too, no matter how much we think our decisions are the best we could make.

Last weekend we had our family and close friends gather for a co-ed baby shower. We so appreciated all the advice from new moms and seasoned “professionals”. My questions might have seemed strange, but the feedback I got was appreciated. We are really blessed to have so many people in our lives that wish us nothing, but the best. Often times, we take for granted people’s generosity, but nowadays when people do something for you and it doesn’t have to be tangible, they are often sacrificing . . . be it money or time. So, to all the friends and family who so kindly give to us on a regular basis, be it advice, tangible gifts or even comic relief to encourage us that this journey will be an awesome one filled with uncertainties and giant rewards . . . THANK YOU!

Me and the hubby at our second baby shower. Not bad for 35 weeks huh?

The Call of Duty

God bless my husband! He has been such a trooper. As I type this, I am starting to get a bit emotional. He’s gone to every doctor’s appointment, survived every mood swing and has been my shoulder to cry on (and my tears could flow at the site of seeing a baby bootie). He’s assembled baby items and researched so many baby facts, I think he himself could write a book. If you know my husband, you know he enjoyed every second of this. Fast forward to Tuesday, the day the best video game (EVER) was released, so they tell me and so I read. James just had to have it. I mean, homeboy has to have an outlet too, right? Mine “used” to be shopping. So, on our way home from work we swung by Game Stop to pick it up (I’d reserved a copy that morning). Boy was he surprised and boy was I H-A-P-P-Y! And the award for the best wife goes to . . . me!

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